How To Cope When You Lose A Child During Pregnancy

Losing a child during pregnancy can be such a traumatic experience, especially when you’ve been trying for so long to start a family and have a baby. It's fair to say that losing a child at any time can easily tear your life apart, and it can be so hard for you to try and move forward after such a terrible event. The emotions and feelings that come the loss of a child can be overwhelming to say the least, and it’s all too tempting to simply give up due to the misery that you feel each day.

However, it’s important that you can stay strong for their sake, as well as for the sake of yourself and for the rest of your family, too. Fortunately, there are a number of steps that you can follow that can help you to cope with the loss of a child during pregnancy, guiding you in the direction of hope and happiness in the most gentle and supportive manner possible. So, if you would like to find out more about these tips and ideas so that you can start to move past the loss of your baby, then simply read below to uncover some of the best advice that you can utilize today.

Get In Touch With A Grief Counselor

If you want to source the most productive and effective coping mechanisms when you are attempting to deal with the loss of a child during pregnancy, then the best option that you can explore is to contact a grief counselor. Grief counselors are specially trained therapists that focus on providing the best possible support and advice to those who are in mourning, and they usually have many years of experience to utilize to assist people who are suffering from severe grief. They will walk you through your trauma and aid you in finding the most effective ways to handle the emotions and guilt that you feel, slowly working towards a more positive, optimistic frame of mind. 

It's so important that you can take the time to find the right grief counselor for you, as each individual will take their own unique approach to helping you deal with the loss of your child, and you may only benefit from a specific type of therapy. Always perform thorough research into each potential candidate for your grief counselling, and check out reviews that have been left by previous clients so that you can see whether their therapy service will actually work well for you. You might be able to find detailed feedback that describes the approach a particular counselor takes, which will then allow you to make a more informed decision and subsequently choose the most suitable therapist. Do not hesitate to change to a different grief counselor if you feel as though your therapy sessions are not helping you to move past your loss. 

Try Not To Blame Yourself

Although it’s far easier said than done, you must not blame yourself for the death of your child. It's more than likely that you are in no way culpable for your loss, and you should not be the one that takes responsibility for such a traumatic event. Blaming yourself will not allow you to heal in any way, and will instead cause your grief to linger as a heavy burden for the foreseeable future.

You need to take the time to come to terms with the fact that some things are simply out of your control, although it’s fair to say that this can be extremely tough. Fortunately there are many books, lectures and other similar resources that you can utilize to better understand how to divert the blame from yourself, as many people experience loss and feel that what occurred is their fault. Learn from them to end your guilt and accept the fact that there is little you could have done to prevent the situation, and therefore it simply is not your burden to bear.

Don’t Avoid Funeral Planning

Funerals can be such a difficult event to plan, as it’s more than likely that you want to arrange the most beautiful send off for your baby so that you can give them one last gift. While it can be more than tempting to simply avoid the responsibility, choosing to put it off so that you don’t have to accept that your little one is no longer with you, it’s fair to say that this will not benefit you in the long run.

Funeral planning can be the perfect opportunity for you to seek closure, leaving your negative emotions in the past so that you can focus on being strong for the sake of your family. A funeral is a chance to celebrate your baby, sharing some happy memories of your pregnancy with your nearest and dearest so that you can all reminisce on the happy times before their passing.

After their funeral takes place, you can use the opportunity to keep their ashes close to your heart. Choosing to explore something like cremation ash necklaces or even jewelry for finger prints might be something that you like to explore. This means you can transform a small portion of their ashes into a beautiful piece of jewelry such as a necklace, or take their tiny finger print and keep it forever on a bracelet.

Keep Your Family Close 

Making an effort to keep your family close and acknowledge their efforts to support you in your grief is so vital. It’s  too easy to use such a loss as an opportunity to isolate yourself and push everyone away, but in reality your partner, other children, siblings, parents and any close family members and friends value you considerably more than you realise, and could simply not imagine the pain of losing you, either.

Holding them close while you still can will help your heart to fill with love and gratitude once more, helping to remove the void that has been left by the loss of your child during pregnancy.